The Cost of Midwifery School

The Breakdown:

91 credit hours at $220 per credit hour + $150 enrollment fee = $20,170.00

Year 1
1st Semester: 13 credit hours - $2,860
2nd Semester: 12 credit hours - $2,640
3rd Semester: 13 credit hours - $2,860
Total for Year 1 - $8,360

Year 2
1st Semester: 11 credit hours - $2,420
2nd Semester: 11 credit hours - $2,420
3rd Semester: 10 credit hours - $2,200
Total for Year 2 - $7,040

Year 3
1st Semester: 9 credit hours - $1,980
2nd Semester: 6 credit hours - $1,320
3rd Semester: 6 credit hours - $1,320
Total for Year 3 - $4,620

Midwifery Apprenticeship

The foundation of every midwifery education is apprenticeship. The student finds an experienced preceptor to take her under her wing and teach her the practical aspect of being a good midwife.

From what I have heard from sister midwifery students, the apprenticeship usually starts the second year of midwifery school. I have also heard that some preceptors are booked with students sometimes YEARS in advance!

So even though I will not be starting midwifery school until August 2009, I figured that maybe I should call the midwife I would like to apprentice with NOW so I can book her for next year.

I called her this past Friday and left a long, detailed message (so long, in fact, that her answering machine cut me off! How embarrassing!), and then promptly forgot about it. I was having a pretty crummy day and fell asleep on the couch immediately after lunch. During the middle of my nap, the phone rang! I answered it still half-asleep, and it was my future preceptor midwife!!!

Oh my goodness, she was EVERYTHING I had hoped she would be...and more! She was inspiring, encouraging, thoughtful, funny...and very professional! She told me the names of other midwives in my area who I could interview about an apprenticeship, so at first I was worried that she'd tell me she didn't have room for me. But then she went on to tell me about how she works and what she expects of her apprentices, and then she said she'd love to have me on board!! She said that most students start apprenticing in the second year, but that she'd like to at least get me out to a few prenatals soon. YES YES YES!!!!!!!!! I am going to call her again in December, and we are going to meet in person to talk more. I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!! :D :D :D

So then I got to thinking...why do midwifery students usually start apprenticing during their second year? Why not their first? Hmm...well, that's probably because most midwives would like their midwives to have a general idea of the profession of midwifery before they start apprenticing. That way, the apprentice will be able to help instead of just observe. So I thought...what would help me be a more useful apprentice...to the point where I might even get to apprentice during my first year of midwifery school? How can I learn to be a more helpful apprentice??

Then it hit me. Maybe I could look into taking a training to become a Midwife's Assistant before I start school in the Fall!! I want to apprentice NOW, but that's not feasible because of my full-time job. But gosh, I'm just so ready to work in birth. I want to help women so much! So I started looking for midwifery assistant workshops, and what on earth did I find?!

Midwifery Assistant Workshop at The Farm in Tennessee!!! The workshop in April will be exactly one year since I was last at The Farm, for my Birthing From Within training! I *loved* The Farm and the people who live there. It's a beautiful place full of energy and down-to-earth people (believe it or not). I have decided that I am going to take the Midwifery Assistant workshop there in April 09, to help me become a better apprentice and to further my knowledge of midwifery to better prepare me for school in the Fall.

Now if only I could forget my love of birth just long enough to keep up at my job so I can be less stressed all the time! :p

My First Postpartum Doula Client and Going Back to School

Last night, I met with my first potential postpartum doula client. She is an absolutely amazing woman, and the interview went very well. We talked for an hour, and I didn't even get to eat my food (we met at a restaurant) because I talked so much. I have decided that I might be too chatty. Anyway, she is expecting her first baby in the beginning of November, and is going to get back with me. I hope she hires me because I think I would really enjoy working with her.

On the midwifery front...I am re-applying at my local community college for the spring term! Oh, I am so excited!! I will be taking Anatomy & Physiology I in the spring, and then Anatomy & Physiology II in the extender summer term. This should get me back into the swing of things before I start midwifery school full-time in the fall, and it will also save me a little bit of money since the tuition at my community college is $77 per credit hour, and the tuition at the midwifery school is $200 per credit hour. I originally wanted to take Microbiology and Psychology at the community college, too, but decided that it would just be too much while working full-time. So I will save those for midwifery school. :)

My birth doula training is November 7th through 9th. My mom and I are going together, and staying in a hotel! We're going to give each other pedicures and watch really girly movies. Should be a great time! We haven't spent time together like that in a long time...I'm really looking forward to it!

OH! I FORGOT TO EVEN MENTION!! Gosh, how could I forget this?? I found out today that the Florida School of Traditional Midwifery is VERY accommodating to commuting students...so accommodating, in fact, that they schedule the bulk of their classes on two consecutive days. This is so the students can drive up to Gainesville just once per week, and stay overnight one day either by staying with a local student, or by everyone pitching in on a hotel room. This is FANTASTIC! Why, you ask? Because it means we do not have to move to Gainesville!!!!!!!!!! Now, don't get me wrong...I like Gainesville, and I *love* the town of Alachua, but it was proving to be rather stressful every time I thought about uprooting everything and moving again...and even more stressful is the job market. There are no IT jobs, and my husband is an A+ and N+ Certified IT Technician...so we were very worried that I wouldn't be able to move in time and then would have to drive two hours every day to Gainesville! But nope! I worried for nothing! I can stay right where I am and only drive to Gainesville once a week!

I am extremely happy right now. And SUPER excited about my life. :)

Florida School of Traditional Midwifery - Gainesville, FL

I have decided that I will be attending the Florida School of Traditional Midwifery in Gainesville. :)

It was a tough decision between the International School of Midwifery in Miami and FSTM in Gainesville, but I believe I came to the right decision.

They both have their pros and cons. Miami is a five hour drive south of here...but the tuition is free. Gainesville is not all that far, but the tuition is extremely expensive. I don't know anyone in Miami, and it's a huge city. Gainesville is a big city, but I do know some people there, and I absolutely love Alachua (and the Krishna temple there)! The school in Miami is a very heavy-traffic birth center. They do not prepare you for homebirth at all. And that was the biggest factor I took into consideration when I made my decision. I am going to be a homebirth midwife. I need to be schooled in homebirth practices.

Now that I have come to a concrete decision, I have to prepare for the move to Gainesville. My husband will have to get a job in Gainesville, and since Gainesville is about a two hour drive from where we live, we will have to move as soon as he gains employment. He is an A+ and N+ certified IT Technician, and he will have his MCP soon, followed eventually by his MCSA. A couple years ago, there were IT jobs everywhere, but nobody would recognize his Irish certifications (he is an immigrant), which is why he decided to get certified here in the states. But now that he is certified here, the IT jobs are gone (along with the rest of the economy)! This is going to make it difficult for him to find an IT job in Gainesville, so we're starting to look now.

I am trying to get a part-time weekend job now to help me put away the money for school next year. I have applied at a local bookstore in hopes of working weekends, but I have not heard from them yet. If I don't hear from them by Friday, then I am going to look into waitressing. Paying for school upfront is a BIG deal for me. I do not want to go the student loan route, though I will if I have to. If I can get a part-time job now, I can put every penny of the pay into my "Send Me To Midwifery School" bank account. It won't be much compared to the $20,000+ tuition, but it will be some.

I am also planning on fundraising big time. And I am not just talking about yard sales and car washes, though I plan to do those...I am thinking more along the lines of sponsorship. I feel that I have a lot to offer to my potential sponsors. When I complete my education and become a Licensed Midwife (LM) in the state of Florida, and a Certified Professional Midwife (CPM) via NARM, I plan on working a couple months throughout the year as a volunteer midwife in countries where midwifery care is scarce but badly needed. This is one of the biggest reasons that I want to become a midwife. I want to help women who truly need help.

So, I plan on going to non-profit organizations (churches, birth support groups, etc.) and natural-minded businesses (health food stores, birth centers, yoga centers, etc.) and asking for sponsorship. I'm thinking to distinguish between donations and sponsorship, a sponsor would make a contribution of $150 or more. In return, the sponsor will get unlimited advertising at each event I go to (birth faires, conferences, holistic health faires) and will have a link on the "Sponsors" page of my website. I will also offer to talk/present about birth at their organization or business, and to send them monthly updates on my progress. I am hoping to have everything prepared to begin looking for sponsors after November 5th.

Speaking of November 5th, that is FSTM's Aspiring Students Meeting!! I am very excited!! I plan on bringing my application to the school and giving it to them then. They are going to talk to us about the school and the requirements, and also give us a tour of the school/birth center. I plan on asking them about any pre-req's, and bringing my transcripts from my community college. I have my AA degree, so I'm hoping some of my classes will transfer over. I'll also see if I can take any of the anatomy classes at my local community college during this upcoming winter semester before we move to Gainesville. The only problem with that is if my husband gets a job in Gainesville before I finish the winter semester! We shall see what happens.

Then, on November 7th, I will have to go back to FSTM with my mom for the birth doula training! We are both very excited! I am hoping so much that my mom falls in love with doula work, and then quits her crazy job to work as a birth doula full-time! That would be so wonderful for her. Her job is insane and she works way too hard. She is battling daily migraines, and I really think the stress is having a negative effect on her health. She loves helping women, too, so I think she would be a fantastic doula. :)

And then, November 19th is my and my husband's three year wedding anniversary! We have no idea what we're doing yet, but we're thinking of going to a Disney resort hotel and staying for three nights. November is going to be a great month!

Putting off one dream to begin another...

10/6/08

I'm not really sure where to begin.

I guess maybe this begins two days ago, when I attended a Wholistic Sexuality workshop with Sheri Winston...or maybe it begins years and years ago, when I was a child. Or maybe it began long before I or my mother or my grandmother was even born.

Does it really matter when it begins?

I have discovered, although I have known all along, that I am not ready to be a mother yet. I know we are never ready. Who is ever ready to become a mother? But...I am not ready to be the mama that I want to be. It does have a lot to do with my past and how I was raised. I am working on so many internal personal issues. I have so much more work to do before I can parent in the way I desire to parent. I need more patience. I need less anger. I need to learn to love myself before I can give love to a child. And I need to build my marriage more to prepare it for another member.

I have also had this hole in my heart for as long as I can remember. A desire to be loved unconditionally, a desire to be rescued. I have a fear of abandonment. I've tried to fill this hole with thing after thing after thing after thing...but the hole is always there. I traveled to Scotland, then to Ireland...and the hole remained. I picked up hobby after hobby, and the hole remained. I married a beautiful soul who I thought for sure would fill the hole. He did indeed fill my heart, but the hole remained. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I discovered that I can't fill the hole with anything. I have to fill the hole myself. I am what is missing from that hole. My self-love, self-esteem, worth, value. My love for myself is what is missing from the hole. That hole will never be filled until I learn to love myself. And it's just not fair to bring a baby into the world to try to fill a hole that needs to be filled before the baby is ever even conceived.

So my husband and I have decided to put off trying to conceive. For how long? Well, however long it takes to learn to love myself. Maybe that will only be a year, maybe it will be three, five...I just don't know. The desire for a child is so great, and it will never really go away...but I know it is just not time yet. I have work to do before the time comes. I am not quite sure where to start, and this blog seems like it will be an on-going log of my progress.

I do know that the very first step in learning to love myself is learning to value myself. I have no self-esteem because I feel worthless. I feel like I am wasting my life at a job that is not helping people. I need to help people to feel like I am worth something. I know I matter, I do...I know that I am worth something. But, I do not feel like I am living up to my true potential if I am not actively helping people.

So the first step I am going to take...the first gigantic leap I'm going to make...is to quit my office job and pursue midwifery full-time. I want to travel overseas and help underpriviledged women have the births that they desire and deserve. I want to midwife for women who do not desire to birth in hospitals, but cannot afford midwifery services. I want to educate the community on pregnancy and birth and breastfeeding and parenting, and not just the people who can afford it. I want to help, and I am going to.

I am currently deciding between the Florida School of Traditional Midwifery in Gainesville and the International School of Midwifery in Miami. I live far from both, but farther from Miami. However, tuition is very costly in Gainesville, and free in Miami (apart from a $100 per month lab fee). Cost of living is more expensive in Miami, but my family lives closer to Gainesville. I have a lot to think about before I choose which school I am going to. All I know is that I am going...and soon.

My Voice

10/1/08

I have been singing since I was a tiny little girl. When I was 10 years old, my mom entered me into my first beauty pageant. There were two parts to the pageant: a talent competition, and an evening gown competition. I sang "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper. I had never been so nervous in my short life. Watching the tape of my performance now, I see a little girl who, while very scared, absolutely loved the attention. I was so scared, though, that I didn't smile even once while singing. My emotions have always given me away, and the fear showed in my eyes. I did not place that year, though one of the judges later told my mom that I was about two points off third-runner-up.

The next year, I entered the same pageant. I wore the same gown and sang the same song, only this time I added more dancing, and I actually smiled during the performance. I enjoyed myself tremendously, but I was still shaky and nervous. I got second-runner-up.

The third year, I entered again. I sang "Lipstick On Your Collar" by Connie Francis. I soaked up all the attention, and absolutely loved being in the spotlight. I smiled continuously and wasn't really nervous at all. That year, I took home the crown.

I entered a couple talent shows after that, but I was done with pageants. I went through a very awkward stage as a teenager, and had no self-confidence. Things were not going well at home, and because of this, I didn't care much about anything. I still sang at church through the choir and through solo-work, but I wanted more. Unfortunately, unless I wanted to do pageants again, which I did not, my singing was limited to church and the shower.

I've always known that I have a fairly decent voice. But I was also one of those people who thought you were born with the voice you'd always have...so I never asked for voice lessons. I accepted the fact that I could sing, but not awesomely enough to ever really go anywhere with my singing.

Last year, I attended a vocal workshop with Krishna Rose, an amazingly talented Kirtan and Celtic singer. She gave us a CD of vocal exercises to practice and taught us how to properly breathe. Within three months, out of nowhere really, I noticed a dramatic improvement in my voice. I have always been a soprano, but my range broadened and I began hitting notes clear as a bell that I'd never been able to hit before. Soon after that, I started taking vocal lessons from her, but only once a month because she lives over two hours from me. She has become my friend as well as mentor, and I am so glad to have met her.

Singing with Krishna has given me the confidence I needed to start singing again. I am going to be singing back-up for her at her upcoming local concerts. I have also begun searching for musicians to co-create a Celtic/Renaissance/New Age-style group to perform at Renaissance Faires and local concerts. I have already had an inquiry from a gentleman who plays the bodhran and tin whistle, and I will hopefully be meeting him soon. I am also on the lookout for a guitarist and violist. I am hoping to create our own original pieces, as well as perform some well-known favorites. Eventually, we may record a CD, but live performance will be the main aspect of this group.

I am beyond excited about singing again. As much as I love birth and herbalism, I can honestly say that singing is my one, true love. When I sing, all my worries and cares go away. It is just me and my voice and my audience, whether that be my dog or a room full of people. When I can actually feel that my music is making a difference in someone's life...when they clap or stand or ask for more...when I look at them and see them smiling back at me...I live for that moment. It is magical. I want nothing more than to sing for them forever and ever.

This year is going to bring about lots of changes. I will hopefully be pregnant soon, and then we will see about quitting my office job, growing my childbirth business, and singing as much as possible, to whoever would like to listen. I feel like I am doing so much at one time, and I am trying not to get overwhelmed. Honestly, if I could just quit my office job and focus solely on birth, herbalism, and singing, I believe I would be a completely different person. My true self. But...right now...birth, herbalism, and singing is not putting food on our table, so until it does, I must keep going and try to make the best of the situation I am in at the present moment.

I will keep you updated. :)

Please make my brain stop spinning.

9/24/08

There is too much to update about. I need to find a way to keep it simple. Bullets, anyone?

• Postpartum Doula Training: was wonderful! I attended the DONA International Postpartum Doula Training with Betsy Schwartz up in Jacksonville a few weeks ago. Betsy was absolutely awesome, totally down to earth...I felt like she was someone I could really relate to. She just seemed to...get it, ya know? People who do birth and postpartum work...they either get it or they don't. Betsy totally gets it.Anyway, we learned a variety of things...what postpartum doulas do and what they don't do, how to identify breastfeeding problems and postpartum depression, how to know when to refer your client out for additional assistance, how to teach the father how to mother the mother, and tons more that I can't remember right now because I'm exhausted.I would definitely recommend this training, especially with Betsy as the instructor, to anybody interested in doing postpartum work. It was just wonderful to be around like-minded women who all care about mothers and babies. And it convinced me that I really need to take the...

• Birth Doula Training: yep, I've decided to take DONA's birth doula training, too. Now, here's the deal. I don't know if I'll actually be able to pursue active birth doula'ing. I'm one of those birth advocates who started out backwards. I've never given birth...I've never experienced birth in the hospital. But I always knew in my heart that homebirth is what's right for me. So really, I had no idea what hospital birth was really like. I mean, I had read a few bad hospital birth stories on the Mothering forums, but I originally thought I could make a difference as a doula. I planned on advocating for women and speaking up for them when they were in the throes of labor. Oh yes. I was gonna be a great doula and help women have awesome homebirth-like-births, only in the hospital. I actually believed all this. Until I attended a childbirth preparation class in one of my local...

• Hospitals: a hospital is simply not a safe place for a healthy woman to give birth. I know this will turn away some readers. I understand if you feel threatened by this. If you are a woman planning on giving birth in the hospital, as all your family and friends always have, then understandably you'd be upset if someone told you that the place you trust most is actually the place you should fear most. But...I assure you that I am not judging your choice of where to give birth. It has nothing to do with judgement and everything to do with safety. Birth is as safe as life gets...but interference is risky. When we interfere with a normal, biological process that our bodies are designed to do...when we add technology and tests and pokes and prodding and interruptions and interventions...that's when things start to go wrong. So yes. I went to the hospital. For the first time since my grandmother was dying of cancer, I went to the hospital. I went first a few months ago to observe a local childbirth education class. As part of my Birthing From Within training, I was required to attend to see what the mainstream women in my community are being taught in hospitals. And I was absolutely horrified at what I heard.I sat and listened as the instructor, who, oddly enough, really seemed to care about mothers and babies...I listened as she told the class that women's perineums are not capable of stretching to accommodate a baby's head, and for that reason, almost all women receive routine episiotomies. I listened as she told the class a wonderful story of a woman who used hypnobirthing had a pain-free, drug-free birth, and then proceeded to roll her eyes and tell the class that this hypnobirthing woman also had to practice for three hours each day for the past five months. I listened as she touted the awesome benefits of epidurals and did not list even ONE potential side effect. I went home completely discouraged that night.
  
  Then, last night, I attended a Newborn Care Class at the other local hospital. This was a requirement of my DONA postpartum doula training (since I have not given birth within the past five years, nor can I volunteer time in a daycare or nursery right now). I went there ready to learn how to swaddle, diaper, bathe, and feed newborns. I worked in a nursery about five years ago for almost three years, but I wanted to learn different approaches to newborn care. I was completely disappointed when we didn't even go over these things! Instead I listened to the instructor say that they encourage breastfeeding at this hospital, but that "There is absolutely nothing wrong with formula. It's a personal choice." I listened to her tell the class that "an angry-looking, bright red penis is actually healthy after a circumcision." Oh yes, as if a genital wound on a non-consenting infant could ever be healthy. She explained how cords are clamped immediately after birth, babies are taken to the warmer to be washed off, dried, and clothed, and then given to mom for a little while to "bond and initiate breastfeeding before being taken to the nursery for additional tests". Why can't the babies just stay with their mamas??
  
  I was just appalled, really. And this is why I don't think I can be an active birth doula. Not in hospitals, anyway. I believe in the cause whole-heartedly. I truly do. In fact, I have encouraged my mother to enter the doula field. She is going to take the birth doula training with me, and I believe she is going to be an absolutely AMAZING birth doula. As for me...I am probably going to stick with postpartum work...for now. Because, ultimately, my dream lies in...

• Midwifery: I can't deny it to myself anymore. How many times does my heart have to break and scream to me that this is my purpose before I actually listen? Well, I am listening now. I am going to pursue midwifery. I am considering all my options, but right now I am leaning toward enrolling in Ancient Arts Midwifery Institute, and then later apprenticing and going through NARM (specifically their PEP process) to become a Certified Professional Midwife. It feels surreal just typing it out here. But it's true. I'm going to do it. I am going to become a midwife. But first, I am focusing on obtaining my doula certifications and growing my business...and, of course...

• Trying To Conceive: Oh the joys and the sorrows. My husband and I are going through our second cycle of trying to conceive. I am on cycle day 29, and I am, unfortunately, not feeling pregnant this time around either. That is okay, though. I am still optimistic. If we did conceive this cycle, I will be ecstatic. But if not, that's okay. A little July baby would be absolutely perfect, too. :)

Alright, I'm going to make another entry with some beautiful photos, and then I'm going to feed my dog and get ready for bed. I'm exhausted just from writing all this out! It feels good to update, though. I need to make more time for myself soon. I'm sorry I haven't been updating regularly...just too much going on right now. But, things are going to get more regular around here (har har) very soon, I promise!

Fetal Doll & Pelvis

8/10/08

I am a Birthing From Within mentor, and will be teaching my first series of classes on September 18th. One of the best teaching supplies that most all childbirth educators should utilize in their classes is the fetal doll and pelvis model. However, finding a set at an affordable price can be almost impossible!

When I first started looking, I found a few different places that sold the fetal model set (two different models): Childbirth Graphics, Cascade, and BirthSource (pelvis sold separately here). I had my heart set on the model sold at Childbirth Graphics and Cascade over the one at BirthSource mainly because the placenta had membranes, and the set came with a perineal model, as well. However, funds were severely lacking, and I didn't think I'd ever be able to afford any of them.

People kept recommending ebay, but search as I might, I couldn't find the complete set. Mostly all I ever found was just pelvises, which really wouldn't do me any good without the baby and placenta.

A week before I was going to order the one off Childbirth Graphics, one popped up on ebay! It was the fetal doll model, the placenta, and the pelvis sold on BirthSource. Not my ideal set, but the price was so absolutely worth it that I just couldn't turn it down. I bid...and won the auction. :)

I am very happy with the set. I do wish the placenta had membranes, but I don't miss the perineal model, as I have heard it is extremely hard to get the baby through the perineum. It would also be nice if the baby's hands had a snap or velcro so they could be bound together around the folded legs to better show fetal position, but I suppose if I get really desperate, I could always sew on some velcro myself. I am currently in the process of knitting a uterus to go with the set, and then it will be complete!



I can't wait to use it in my classes! :)

Food, Bitters, Fermentation, and Digestive Health

8/10/08

Wonderful, glorious food! I just love food. I have always been a big eater. I am also an emotional eater. I turn to food when I'm happy, sad, bored, lonely, etc. And I also have digestive issues. Bad.

Mostly, my issues are limited to acid reflux and heartburn. I've had both all my life, for as long as I can remember. When I was little, the first thing I'd have to upon waking up was stuff a piece of bread in my mouth and swallow quickly. It was all I could do to "push" the acid back down again. I never knew I had reflux, though. I just thought everyone had to eat something heavy in the morning or else they'd feel sick.

I think it was about a year ago when I realized what was going on. I tried cutting dairy out of my diet...didn't work. Tried cutting wheat out of my diet...didn't work. Tried cutting sugar out of my diet...nope, that didn't work either. In fact, nothing I do regarding food seems to alleviate my acid reflux. I have just gotten used to the heartburn. :(

My diet has never been really bad, but it's never been really great either. I am a lacto-ovo vegetarian, and I eat quite a natural diet full of whole grains (mostly quinoa, brown rice, and oats), veggies, and sometimes fruit. A smoothie made with whole organic cow milk, almond butter, raw honey, a banana, frozen blueberries, and sometimes spirulina is my staple breakfast. I eat salads with olive oil and apple cider vinegar for lunch. I eat eggs usually three times a week. Dinners are heavier and more traditionally American: boiled potatoes, some kind of boiled veggies, and some beans, or eggs, or some kind of fake soy meat. I eat spaghetti once a week, and leftover spaghetti the next day for lunch. Average foods.

Doesn't seem that bad, right? Well...how bout considering that I'm mostly STARVING all day long at work, and then STUFF MYSELF SILLY at dinner time. Hmm...yeah, that could contribute to the acid reflux. The biggest problem for me is that my reflux is worse on an empty stomach, and if I don't eat something about every two hours, I get ravenously hungry. But, I never bring enough snacks to work, and therefore overeat at dinner time, which causes more reflux. It's a terrible cycle.

So I've decided to do a little experiment. Dandelion (Taraxacum officinalis) is a bitter herb that has been used to promote healthy digestion for centuries. It is also an amazing diuretic (hence its Irish slang name "piss-the-bed"), and helps move ickies from the body. Fresh Spring dandelion greens can be eaten in salads, the dried leaves can be taken as an extremely bitter tasting tea, or a tincture of the fresh plant and root can be taken; about 10-40 drops (depending on the individual and what it's being used for) in a little water.

I have some homemade Dandelion Root tincture that I never use because it tastes so damn, well, bitter. But I made it specifically for my digestive issues, so it's about time that I utilize this powerful medicine. I am going to start taking about 20 drops in a little water before each meal. Bitter herbs, like dandelion, cause the belly to release hydrochloric acid which helps digestion and can stop acid reflux before it starts! Let's hope it works for me!!

The other part of my experiment involves fermenting foods! I tasted sauerkraut for the first time about two weeks ago. A friend from work brought me a quart of it about two months ago, and told me to open it when I was ready, and then refrigerate it after opening.

Well, I couldn't get the jar open! Truly, honestly, we all tried. Me, my mom, my husband, my mom's husband...nobody could open the jar!

Well, one day during a WICKED bout of PMS where I needed something salty and sour, I got slightly crazy, and stabbed the canning lid with a knife! I had NO IDEA that it was under pressure, and it squirted juice like three feet in the air! I took it outside to let it keep squirting, and then I sliced the lid all the way open, and peeled it back with pliers. Then I took off the first few tablespoons of kraut and threw it away (my friend said to do this), and then poured all the rest into another jar.

So anyway, I absolutely LOVED it. I am a person who really enjoys sour foods, and it was sour like really sour pickles! And very crunchy!! The first night, I ate about a third of the jar, it was just sooo good! My friend thought it would have given me a bellyache since I'm not used to eating kraut, but it didn't. Yum.

I've read about the health benefits of fermented foods. Similar to yogurt, fermented foods contain good bacterial that help our bellies to all the things our bellies are supposed to do, like digest food and expel waste. However, oftentimes we eat such cruddy stuff that our digestive flora get out of whack. Fermented foods get things going again.

I plan on investing in a copy of Wild Fermentation, and starting to include fermented foods into my DAILY diet. I am hoping that eating lots of fermented foods along with taking bitter herbs will make my reflux go away completely! I will be sure to update on how things are going. :)

Trying to Conceive

8/3/08

When I first learned what "TTC" meant, I was overwhelmed with a flood of emotions: jealousy, anticipation, sadness...oh, to be in the TTC Club!! When would I get there? How old would I be? What kind of life would I be living when I finally reached that point in time?

I wanted a child from the moment I fell in love with my husband. I had never wanted one before. I had been terrified of childbirth all through my teenage years, and just decided that I'd never have children. When I finally realized that I was in love with my husband (boyfriend back then, of course), I thought to myself, "I could have kids with this guy." And so I started researching childbirth to allay my fears...found a story about unassisted birth, and my fears melted away. But that is a story for another day. ;)

It would be years before I would start my TTC journey. My husband, as much as he loved me and wanted us to be together forever and all that jazz, was simply NOT ready for a baby. We practice Fertility Awareness (FAM), and so many friends and family would ask me, "Why don't you just trick him?" Umm...hmm...yeah, that's a tough one. How about, "Because I respect him?" Sheesh. That made the whole thing even more difficult.

I waited impatiently for over four years. Waited for what seemed like forever. Waited, and waited, and waited, until my husband was finally ready. The day I knew for sure that he was really, truly ready was one of the happiest days of my life.

So now, here we are. We are in the midst of trying to conceive our very first little one. I have never been pregnant, and I have absolutely no idea what to expect. Every day I wonder what my baby will look like, who he/she will act like, will it be a boy or girl...and even, will I get pregnant on the first try? Will I be devastated if I don't? What if I am infertile?

The thoughts that run through your head when you're first starting out...man...they're crazy!
I'm trying not to let TTC take over my life, but it is so difficult! I daydream all day at work, play on MotheringDotCommune, obsess over my fertility chart. I'm getting behind in my work, and every day I say, "Ok, this is the day that I will catch up." And it never happens!

Ultimately, I'm not really stressed. I'm pretty calm. I am just so EXCITED, though, and that's what's taking over my life right now. Excitement. But I am trying my best to eat right, sleep enough, exercise, and I am drinking Red Clover (Trifolium pratense) tea (I really should be drinking Red Clover infusions, but the taste was nauseating to me) to improve my already pretty darn fertile fertility. I am also drinking the odd Nettle, Oatstraw, or Red Raspberry Leaf infusions, and I will drink those more consistently when I do get pregnant.

This entry is all over the place, but I guess I just wanted to document what TTC has been like, so far, for me (even though I haven't even ovulated yet, lol!). Maybe it will help any other TTC-Newbies to realize that their obsessions are normal. :)

Writing Again, At Last...

8/1/08

You know that feeling you get...the feeling you get after not doing something you love for a long time...whether due to lack of interest, or lack of time, or whatever. You feel strange, you feel anticipation. You want to do it again, but there's the whole "starting over" thing to keep in mind. Do you really want to exhaust that kind of energy again? Are you really willing to devote a large chunk of your life to this passion? And why do you want to do this again? Why did you quit in the first place?

That's how I get when it comes to writing and blogging. I maintain a more personal blog on another site that is exclusively for close friends. Just updates on my life and such. But for a while there, I was blogging for the rest of the world. It wasn't all that interesting of a blog...about knitting and sewing and crafty stuff. About cooking, and small bits about family life. But just writing it down, cropping pictures and posting them for the world to see, that was the thrill. Oh, and to check my email every day in anticipation of a comment or two...and when my blog started growing and more people started reading it, and more comments resulted. Ah, attention! Because really, that's why we keep these blogs, isn't it?

So here I am, back to blogging again. A new site, a new blog, a completely different time in my life. Welcome! Here I will ramble on and on about pregnancy, childbirth, herbalism, women's rights, the odd crafty bits and pieces, and my family. I will talk about the flaws in modern obstetrical care, why women need to resume the traditional role in caring for other women during pregnancy and birth...I will journal my learnings and experiences with herbs, the beautiful members of the plant world...you will see photos of my every day life and all that goes on in it; learning to cook more than just five meals a week, taking care of my beautiful animals, adventuring with my lovely husband, turning my urban backyard into a wild herb and veggie garden, traveling back and forth to Ireland...and you will see my journey as my husband and I try to conceive our first baby and learn to become parents.

Throw in some crazy challenges like starting my own childbirth business, dreaming of becoming a midwife one day, moving across the country, and keeping up with my yoga routine, and you have one pretty interesting, every day blog!

And now, it's raining! Again! Welcome to my life! :-)