The Cost of Midwifery School

The Breakdown:

91 credit hours at $220 per credit hour + $150 enrollment fee = $20,170.00

Year 1
1st Semester: 13 credit hours - $2,860
2nd Semester: 12 credit hours - $2,640
3rd Semester: 13 credit hours - $2,860
Total for Year 1 - $8,360

Year 2
1st Semester: 11 credit hours - $2,420
2nd Semester: 11 credit hours - $2,420
3rd Semester: 10 credit hours - $2,200
Total for Year 2 - $7,040

Year 3
1st Semester: 9 credit hours - $1,980
2nd Semester: 6 credit hours - $1,320
3rd Semester: 6 credit hours - $1,320
Total for Year 3 - $4,620

Midwifery Apprenticeship

The foundation of every midwifery education is apprenticeship. The student finds an experienced preceptor to take her under her wing and teach her the practical aspect of being a good midwife.

From what I have heard from sister midwifery students, the apprenticeship usually starts the second year of midwifery school. I have also heard that some preceptors are booked with students sometimes YEARS in advance!

So even though I will not be starting midwifery school until August 2009, I figured that maybe I should call the midwife I would like to apprentice with NOW so I can book her for next year.

I called her this past Friday and left a long, detailed message (so long, in fact, that her answering machine cut me off! How embarrassing!), and then promptly forgot about it. I was having a pretty crummy day and fell asleep on the couch immediately after lunch. During the middle of my nap, the phone rang! I answered it still half-asleep, and it was my future preceptor midwife!!!

Oh my goodness, she was EVERYTHING I had hoped she would be...and more! She was inspiring, encouraging, thoughtful, funny...and very professional! She told me the names of other midwives in my area who I could interview about an apprenticeship, so at first I was worried that she'd tell me she didn't have room for me. But then she went on to tell me about how she works and what she expects of her apprentices, and then she said she'd love to have me on board!! She said that most students start apprenticing in the second year, but that she'd like to at least get me out to a few prenatals soon. YES YES YES!!!!!!!!! I am going to call her again in December, and we are going to meet in person to talk more. I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!! :D :D :D

So then I got to thinking...why do midwifery students usually start apprenticing during their second year? Why not their first? Hmm...well, that's probably because most midwives would like their midwives to have a general idea of the profession of midwifery before they start apprenticing. That way, the apprentice will be able to help instead of just observe. So I thought...what would help me be a more useful apprentice...to the point where I might even get to apprentice during my first year of midwifery school? How can I learn to be a more helpful apprentice??

Then it hit me. Maybe I could look into taking a training to become a Midwife's Assistant before I start school in the Fall!! I want to apprentice NOW, but that's not feasible because of my full-time job. But gosh, I'm just so ready to work in birth. I want to help women so much! So I started looking for midwifery assistant workshops, and what on earth did I find?!

Midwifery Assistant Workshop at The Farm in Tennessee!!! The workshop in April will be exactly one year since I was last at The Farm, for my Birthing From Within training! I *loved* The Farm and the people who live there. It's a beautiful place full of energy and down-to-earth people (believe it or not). I have decided that I am going to take the Midwifery Assistant workshop there in April 09, to help me become a better apprentice and to further my knowledge of midwifery to better prepare me for school in the Fall.

Now if only I could forget my love of birth just long enough to keep up at my job so I can be less stressed all the time! :p

My First Postpartum Doula Client and Going Back to School

Last night, I met with my first potential postpartum doula client. She is an absolutely amazing woman, and the interview went very well. We talked for an hour, and I didn't even get to eat my food (we met at a restaurant) because I talked so much. I have decided that I might be too chatty. Anyway, she is expecting her first baby in the beginning of November, and is going to get back with me. I hope she hires me because I think I would really enjoy working with her.

On the midwifery front...I am re-applying at my local community college for the spring term! Oh, I am so excited!! I will be taking Anatomy & Physiology I in the spring, and then Anatomy & Physiology II in the extender summer term. This should get me back into the swing of things before I start midwifery school full-time in the fall, and it will also save me a little bit of money since the tuition at my community college is $77 per credit hour, and the tuition at the midwifery school is $200 per credit hour. I originally wanted to take Microbiology and Psychology at the community college, too, but decided that it would just be too much while working full-time. So I will save those for midwifery school. :)

My birth doula training is November 7th through 9th. My mom and I are going together, and staying in a hotel! We're going to give each other pedicures and watch really girly movies. Should be a great time! We haven't spent time together like that in a long time...I'm really looking forward to it!

OH! I FORGOT TO EVEN MENTION!! Gosh, how could I forget this?? I found out today that the Florida School of Traditional Midwifery is VERY accommodating to commuting students...so accommodating, in fact, that they schedule the bulk of their classes on two consecutive days. This is so the students can drive up to Gainesville just once per week, and stay overnight one day either by staying with a local student, or by everyone pitching in on a hotel room. This is FANTASTIC! Why, you ask? Because it means we do not have to move to Gainesville!!!!!!!!!! Now, don't get me wrong...I like Gainesville, and I *love* the town of Alachua, but it was proving to be rather stressful every time I thought about uprooting everything and moving again...and even more stressful is the job market. There are no IT jobs, and my husband is an A+ and N+ Certified IT Technician...so we were very worried that I wouldn't be able to move in time and then would have to drive two hours every day to Gainesville! But nope! I worried for nothing! I can stay right where I am and only drive to Gainesville once a week!

I am extremely happy right now. And SUPER excited about my life. :)

Florida School of Traditional Midwifery - Gainesville, FL

I have decided that I will be attending the Florida School of Traditional Midwifery in Gainesville. :)

It was a tough decision between the International School of Midwifery in Miami and FSTM in Gainesville, but I believe I came to the right decision.

They both have their pros and cons. Miami is a five hour drive south of here...but the tuition is free. Gainesville is not all that far, but the tuition is extremely expensive. I don't know anyone in Miami, and it's a huge city. Gainesville is a big city, but I do know some people there, and I absolutely love Alachua (and the Krishna temple there)! The school in Miami is a very heavy-traffic birth center. They do not prepare you for homebirth at all. And that was the biggest factor I took into consideration when I made my decision. I am going to be a homebirth midwife. I need to be schooled in homebirth practices.

Now that I have come to a concrete decision, I have to prepare for the move to Gainesville. My husband will have to get a job in Gainesville, and since Gainesville is about a two hour drive from where we live, we will have to move as soon as he gains employment. He is an A+ and N+ certified IT Technician, and he will have his MCP soon, followed eventually by his MCSA. A couple years ago, there were IT jobs everywhere, but nobody would recognize his Irish certifications (he is an immigrant), which is why he decided to get certified here in the states. But now that he is certified here, the IT jobs are gone (along with the rest of the economy)! This is going to make it difficult for him to find an IT job in Gainesville, so we're starting to look now.

I am trying to get a part-time weekend job now to help me put away the money for school next year. I have applied at a local bookstore in hopes of working weekends, but I have not heard from them yet. If I don't hear from them by Friday, then I am going to look into waitressing. Paying for school upfront is a BIG deal for me. I do not want to go the student loan route, though I will if I have to. If I can get a part-time job now, I can put every penny of the pay into my "Send Me To Midwifery School" bank account. It won't be much compared to the $20,000+ tuition, but it will be some.

I am also planning on fundraising big time. And I am not just talking about yard sales and car washes, though I plan to do those...I am thinking more along the lines of sponsorship. I feel that I have a lot to offer to my potential sponsors. When I complete my education and become a Licensed Midwife (LM) in the state of Florida, and a Certified Professional Midwife (CPM) via NARM, I plan on working a couple months throughout the year as a volunteer midwife in countries where midwifery care is scarce but badly needed. This is one of the biggest reasons that I want to become a midwife. I want to help women who truly need help.

So, I plan on going to non-profit organizations (churches, birth support groups, etc.) and natural-minded businesses (health food stores, birth centers, yoga centers, etc.) and asking for sponsorship. I'm thinking to distinguish between donations and sponsorship, a sponsor would make a contribution of $150 or more. In return, the sponsor will get unlimited advertising at each event I go to (birth faires, conferences, holistic health faires) and will have a link on the "Sponsors" page of my website. I will also offer to talk/present about birth at their organization or business, and to send them monthly updates on my progress. I am hoping to have everything prepared to begin looking for sponsors after November 5th.

Speaking of November 5th, that is FSTM's Aspiring Students Meeting!! I am very excited!! I plan on bringing my application to the school and giving it to them then. They are going to talk to us about the school and the requirements, and also give us a tour of the school/birth center. I plan on asking them about any pre-req's, and bringing my transcripts from my community college. I have my AA degree, so I'm hoping some of my classes will transfer over. I'll also see if I can take any of the anatomy classes at my local community college during this upcoming winter semester before we move to Gainesville. The only problem with that is if my husband gets a job in Gainesville before I finish the winter semester! We shall see what happens.

Then, on November 7th, I will have to go back to FSTM with my mom for the birth doula training! We are both very excited! I am hoping so much that my mom falls in love with doula work, and then quits her crazy job to work as a birth doula full-time! That would be so wonderful for her. Her job is insane and she works way too hard. She is battling daily migraines, and I really think the stress is having a negative effect on her health. She loves helping women, too, so I think she would be a fantastic doula. :)

And then, November 19th is my and my husband's three year wedding anniversary! We have no idea what we're doing yet, but we're thinking of going to a Disney resort hotel and staying for three nights. November is going to be a great month!

Putting off one dream to begin another...

10/6/08

I'm not really sure where to begin.

I guess maybe this begins two days ago, when I attended a Wholistic Sexuality workshop with Sheri Winston...or maybe it begins years and years ago, when I was a child. Or maybe it began long before I or my mother or my grandmother was even born.

Does it really matter when it begins?

I have discovered, although I have known all along, that I am not ready to be a mother yet. I know we are never ready. Who is ever ready to become a mother? But...I am not ready to be the mama that I want to be. It does have a lot to do with my past and how I was raised. I am working on so many internal personal issues. I have so much more work to do before I can parent in the way I desire to parent. I need more patience. I need less anger. I need to learn to love myself before I can give love to a child. And I need to build my marriage more to prepare it for another member.

I have also had this hole in my heart for as long as I can remember. A desire to be loved unconditionally, a desire to be rescued. I have a fear of abandonment. I've tried to fill this hole with thing after thing after thing after thing...but the hole is always there. I traveled to Scotland, then to Ireland...and the hole remained. I picked up hobby after hobby, and the hole remained. I married a beautiful soul who I thought for sure would fill the hole. He did indeed fill my heart, but the hole remained. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I discovered that I can't fill the hole with anything. I have to fill the hole myself. I am what is missing from that hole. My self-love, self-esteem, worth, value. My love for myself is what is missing from the hole. That hole will never be filled until I learn to love myself. And it's just not fair to bring a baby into the world to try to fill a hole that needs to be filled before the baby is ever even conceived.

So my husband and I have decided to put off trying to conceive. For how long? Well, however long it takes to learn to love myself. Maybe that will only be a year, maybe it will be three, five...I just don't know. The desire for a child is so great, and it will never really go away...but I know it is just not time yet. I have work to do before the time comes. I am not quite sure where to start, and this blog seems like it will be an on-going log of my progress.

I do know that the very first step in learning to love myself is learning to value myself. I have no self-esteem because I feel worthless. I feel like I am wasting my life at a job that is not helping people. I need to help people to feel like I am worth something. I know I matter, I do...I know that I am worth something. But, I do not feel like I am living up to my true potential if I am not actively helping people.

So the first step I am going to take...the first gigantic leap I'm going to make...is to quit my office job and pursue midwifery full-time. I want to travel overseas and help underpriviledged women have the births that they desire and deserve. I want to midwife for women who do not desire to birth in hospitals, but cannot afford midwifery services. I want to educate the community on pregnancy and birth and breastfeeding and parenting, and not just the people who can afford it. I want to help, and I am going to.

I am currently deciding between the Florida School of Traditional Midwifery in Gainesville and the International School of Midwifery in Miami. I live far from both, but farther from Miami. However, tuition is very costly in Gainesville, and free in Miami (apart from a $100 per month lab fee). Cost of living is more expensive in Miami, but my family lives closer to Gainesville. I have a lot to think about before I choose which school I am going to. All I know is that I am going...and soon.

My Voice

10/1/08

I have been singing since I was a tiny little girl. When I was 10 years old, my mom entered me into my first beauty pageant. There were two parts to the pageant: a talent competition, and an evening gown competition. I sang "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper. I had never been so nervous in my short life. Watching the tape of my performance now, I see a little girl who, while very scared, absolutely loved the attention. I was so scared, though, that I didn't smile even once while singing. My emotions have always given me away, and the fear showed in my eyes. I did not place that year, though one of the judges later told my mom that I was about two points off third-runner-up.

The next year, I entered the same pageant. I wore the same gown and sang the same song, only this time I added more dancing, and I actually smiled during the performance. I enjoyed myself tremendously, but I was still shaky and nervous. I got second-runner-up.

The third year, I entered again. I sang "Lipstick On Your Collar" by Connie Francis. I soaked up all the attention, and absolutely loved being in the spotlight. I smiled continuously and wasn't really nervous at all. That year, I took home the crown.

I entered a couple talent shows after that, but I was done with pageants. I went through a very awkward stage as a teenager, and had no self-confidence. Things were not going well at home, and because of this, I didn't care much about anything. I still sang at church through the choir and through solo-work, but I wanted more. Unfortunately, unless I wanted to do pageants again, which I did not, my singing was limited to church and the shower.

I've always known that I have a fairly decent voice. But I was also one of those people who thought you were born with the voice you'd always have...so I never asked for voice lessons. I accepted the fact that I could sing, but not awesomely enough to ever really go anywhere with my singing.

Last year, I attended a vocal workshop with Krishna Rose, an amazingly talented Kirtan and Celtic singer. She gave us a CD of vocal exercises to practice and taught us how to properly breathe. Within three months, out of nowhere really, I noticed a dramatic improvement in my voice. I have always been a soprano, but my range broadened and I began hitting notes clear as a bell that I'd never been able to hit before. Soon after that, I started taking vocal lessons from her, but only once a month because she lives over two hours from me. She has become my friend as well as mentor, and I am so glad to have met her.

Singing with Krishna has given me the confidence I needed to start singing again. I am going to be singing back-up for her at her upcoming local concerts. I have also begun searching for musicians to co-create a Celtic/Renaissance/New Age-style group to perform at Renaissance Faires and local concerts. I have already had an inquiry from a gentleman who plays the bodhran and tin whistle, and I will hopefully be meeting him soon. I am also on the lookout for a guitarist and violist. I am hoping to create our own original pieces, as well as perform some well-known favorites. Eventually, we may record a CD, but live performance will be the main aspect of this group.

I am beyond excited about singing again. As much as I love birth and herbalism, I can honestly say that singing is my one, true love. When I sing, all my worries and cares go away. It is just me and my voice and my audience, whether that be my dog or a room full of people. When I can actually feel that my music is making a difference in someone's life...when they clap or stand or ask for more...when I look at them and see them smiling back at me...I live for that moment. It is magical. I want nothing more than to sing for them forever and ever.

This year is going to bring about lots of changes. I will hopefully be pregnant soon, and then we will see about quitting my office job, growing my childbirth business, and singing as much as possible, to whoever would like to listen. I feel like I am doing so much at one time, and I am trying not to get overwhelmed. Honestly, if I could just quit my office job and focus solely on birth, herbalism, and singing, I believe I would be a completely different person. My true self. But...right now...birth, herbalism, and singing is not putting food on our table, so until it does, I must keep going and try to make the best of the situation I am in at the present moment.

I will keep you updated. :)

Please make my brain stop spinning.

9/24/08

There is too much to update about. I need to find a way to keep it simple. Bullets, anyone?

• Postpartum Doula Training: was wonderful! I attended the DONA International Postpartum Doula Training with Betsy Schwartz up in Jacksonville a few weeks ago. Betsy was absolutely awesome, totally down to earth...I felt like she was someone I could really relate to. She just seemed to...get it, ya know? People who do birth and postpartum work...they either get it or they don't. Betsy totally gets it.Anyway, we learned a variety of things...what postpartum doulas do and what they don't do, how to identify breastfeeding problems and postpartum depression, how to know when to refer your client out for additional assistance, how to teach the father how to mother the mother, and tons more that I can't remember right now because I'm exhausted.I would definitely recommend this training, especially with Betsy as the instructor, to anybody interested in doing postpartum work. It was just wonderful to be around like-minded women who all care about mothers and babies. And it convinced me that I really need to take the...

• Birth Doula Training: yep, I've decided to take DONA's birth doula training, too. Now, here's the deal. I don't know if I'll actually be able to pursue active birth doula'ing. I'm one of those birth advocates who started out backwards. I've never given birth...I've never experienced birth in the hospital. But I always knew in my heart that homebirth is what's right for me. So really, I had no idea what hospital birth was really like. I mean, I had read a few bad hospital birth stories on the Mothering forums, but I originally thought I could make a difference as a doula. I planned on advocating for women and speaking up for them when they were in the throes of labor. Oh yes. I was gonna be a great doula and help women have awesome homebirth-like-births, only in the hospital. I actually believed all this. Until I attended a childbirth preparation class in one of my local...

• Hospitals: a hospital is simply not a safe place for a healthy woman to give birth. I know this will turn away some readers. I understand if you feel threatened by this. If you are a woman planning on giving birth in the hospital, as all your family and friends always have, then understandably you'd be upset if someone told you that the place you trust most is actually the place you should fear most. But...I assure you that I am not judging your choice of where to give birth. It has nothing to do with judgement and everything to do with safety. Birth is as safe as life gets...but interference is risky. When we interfere with a normal, biological process that our bodies are designed to do...when we add technology and tests and pokes and prodding and interruptions and interventions...that's when things start to go wrong. So yes. I went to the hospital. For the first time since my grandmother was dying of cancer, I went to the hospital. I went first a few months ago to observe a local childbirth education class. As part of my Birthing From Within training, I was required to attend to see what the mainstream women in my community are being taught in hospitals. And I was absolutely horrified at what I heard.I sat and listened as the instructor, who, oddly enough, really seemed to care about mothers and babies...I listened as she told the class that women's perineums are not capable of stretching to accommodate a baby's head, and for that reason, almost all women receive routine episiotomies. I listened as she told the class a wonderful story of a woman who used hypnobirthing had a pain-free, drug-free birth, and then proceeded to roll her eyes and tell the class that this hypnobirthing woman also had to practice for three hours each day for the past five months. I listened as she touted the awesome benefits of epidurals and did not list even ONE potential side effect. I went home completely discouraged that night.
  
  Then, last night, I attended a Newborn Care Class at the other local hospital. This was a requirement of my DONA postpartum doula training (since I have not given birth within the past five years, nor can I volunteer time in a daycare or nursery right now). I went there ready to learn how to swaddle, diaper, bathe, and feed newborns. I worked in a nursery about five years ago for almost three years, but I wanted to learn different approaches to newborn care. I was completely disappointed when we didn't even go over these things! Instead I listened to the instructor say that they encourage breastfeeding at this hospital, but that "There is absolutely nothing wrong with formula. It's a personal choice." I listened to her tell the class that "an angry-looking, bright red penis is actually healthy after a circumcision." Oh yes, as if a genital wound on a non-consenting infant could ever be healthy. She explained how cords are clamped immediately after birth, babies are taken to the warmer to be washed off, dried, and clothed, and then given to mom for a little while to "bond and initiate breastfeeding before being taken to the nursery for additional tests". Why can't the babies just stay with their mamas??
  
  I was just appalled, really. And this is why I don't think I can be an active birth doula. Not in hospitals, anyway. I believe in the cause whole-heartedly. I truly do. In fact, I have encouraged my mother to enter the doula field. She is going to take the birth doula training with me, and I believe she is going to be an absolutely AMAZING birth doula. As for me...I am probably going to stick with postpartum work...for now. Because, ultimately, my dream lies in...

• Midwifery: I can't deny it to myself anymore. How many times does my heart have to break and scream to me that this is my purpose before I actually listen? Well, I am listening now. I am going to pursue midwifery. I am considering all my options, but right now I am leaning toward enrolling in Ancient Arts Midwifery Institute, and then later apprenticing and going through NARM (specifically their PEP process) to become a Certified Professional Midwife. It feels surreal just typing it out here. But it's true. I'm going to do it. I am going to become a midwife. But first, I am focusing on obtaining my doula certifications and growing my business...and, of course...

• Trying To Conceive: Oh the joys and the sorrows. My husband and I are going through our second cycle of trying to conceive. I am on cycle day 29, and I am, unfortunately, not feeling pregnant this time around either. That is okay, though. I am still optimistic. If we did conceive this cycle, I will be ecstatic. But if not, that's okay. A little July baby would be absolutely perfect, too. :)

Alright, I'm going to make another entry with some beautiful photos, and then I'm going to feed my dog and get ready for bed. I'm exhausted just from writing all this out! It feels good to update, though. I need to make more time for myself soon. I'm sorry I haven't been updating regularly...just too much going on right now. But, things are going to get more regular around here (har har) very soon, I promise!